I have a label for my ex-husband in my phone. I initially assigned his title as a reminder that I needed to pray for him…
Over the past few years, seeing a new notification from “Pray For Him to Get Right With God” whenever he texted or returned a call, instead of prompting me to pray, I was filled with dread.
I get a knot in the pit of my stomach and my heartbeat quickens…
No. Not in the “oh I’m-filled-with-regret-and-still-want-him-way” but in the “what-is-it-now?-way”.
While the pastor was teaching from Matthew 5:13-16 today, I was convicted to be salt and light. Is my behavior such that shows the light of Christ in me? How am I different in a world of darkness? How am I being the salt and light?
Instead of giving my ex a title in my contacts…why didn’t I just pray for him? No, not a petty prayer where I lay out all of the things that still bother me about him, but a sincere prayer. A prayer for him and a those he loves. A prayer for his peace in Christ, for blessings to overflow, for goodness and mercy to overflow in his life and the lives of those he encounters. A prayer for any animosity or strongholds in his life to fall away and for him to be able to trust in Christ alone. These haven’t been the focus of any of the prayers I may have said for him in a LOOOOOOOONG time. (If I even prayed sincerely for him at all…)
So here’s what I wrote…
First and foremost, Lord, I thank you for the ability to acknowledge my ever-present shortcomings and the ability to come before the throne of grace to ask your forgiveness for the sin of disobedience when I don’t want to pray and especially when I downright refuse to pray for my ex-husband. Thank you for your goodness and your mercy. Help me to react with kindness and to forgive when I am blinded by hurt, hate, jealousy, rejection, grief, and sorrow. Help me to see my ex-husband as you do. Help me to think the best of him and his intentions. Help me to recognize that you made a way to secure my forgiveness, love, and salvation the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ Our Lord and it is not my place to judge or withhold forgiveness from my ex-husband. Who am I, Lord, that you are mindful of me? Thank you for The Holy Spirit prompting me, for conviction, correction, and the spirit of humility that allows me to listen, learn, and grow in Christ.
I come before you now to ask you to bless my ex-husband, Lord. Remove depression, sickness, pride, and animosity from our hearts Help us to serve you in our relationship with each other. Help us to see beyond ourselves and beyond our brokenness to embrace your healing.
It has been a year since our divorce Lord. While the wounds may feel fresh, help us to rely on you and not react to each other from our wounded feelings. Help him to acknowledge your mercy and grace and to release any anger that we may feel towards each other.
Cradle my ex-husband in your bosom right now Lord. Bless him and his household. Bless his children and those he loves. Bless his mind and his heart Father. Help me to honor my ex-husband as the father of my child. Help me to let go of any anger or anxiety, to speak life and to and about him. Lord, right now, help me to see my ex as YOU created him. Not perfect, not my enemy, not my adversary, but as your child.
Help me to continue to pray for him and his family. ESPECIALLY when it becomes hard. Heal any ailments in his body, Father God. Wherever he needs to you move Lord, please move in his life. Not for my benefit or for the benefit of his family, or our daughter but for the benefit of the testimony that you’ve put inside him to shine forth and glorify your name, Lord.
Give us both a love for Christ that exudes from our very being. Help us to see each other as you see us and to love each other with the love of Christ as you command.
Lord help me to put aside any ulterior motives and be released from the bondage of grief for the loss of my marriage. Bless my ex-husband’s relationships, Increase his faith and love for you. Help us to cast down any thought or imagination that is not of you Lord. I pray his strength and faith in your word. Help him to see how much you love him. I thank you in advance for how far you have brought him and for where you are taking him personally, emotionally, professionally, and most of all spiritually. I pray all of these things in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ’s name. Amen.
Who have you been prompted to pray for?…Instead of beating yourself up for not praying for them, just get to praying!